


How's Your Head?

by TheBectacularNow



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Domestic, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Innuendo, M/M, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Mild Smut, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-14 17:19:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16496876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBectacularNow/pseuds/TheBectacularNow
Summary: When Alec hurts his head on a hunt, everyone wants to know how it is.  Magnus is more than happy to answer.





	1. Heads Up!

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter of my new fic!!! 
> 
> Thank you SO much to those of you who followed my last few fics and sent so much love my way! Honestly, I cherished every kudos and kind comment and I LOVED talking with you guys. To those of you lovely people who are returning to my page for this new fic, welcome back! And the those of you who are new, welcome! :) 
> 
> For anyone who wants the story behind this fic, it was actually inspired by one of the competitors on RuPaul's Drag Race. RuPaul loves to use the phrase "How's your head?" as innuendo and most competitors know that they are meant to answer "No complaints" in an equally silly and suggestive way. However, every time Ru spoke to the competitor Miss Fame and asked "How's your head?" the phrase went…well, right over her head, and she would launch into long monologues about her mental state and her determination. At the end of the season someone, bless them, finally clued her in. Iconic honestly lol. 
> 
> As always, I hope this chapter gives you the absolute best Malec feels. If you want to give me good feels in return, feel free to leave a kudos and a comment. <3
> 
> Enjoy, everyone! And tune in again next Friday for Chapter Two! :)
> 
> ______________________________

 Alec was missing something.  But he wasn't sure what.

He knew from the reactions of those around him that he wasn't understanding some deeper meaning in his boyfriend's words, but for the life of him, he didn't know what that meaning was.

It had started about a month ago after Alec had been thrown against an alley wall by a Shax demon, his skull thudding against the red bricks.  He had assured everyone that he was fine other than a roaring headache and a slight concussion that was already healing from the iratze his parabatai had activated.  However, his ever-caring warlock had insisted on keeping him home the next day to monitor him and attend to his needs. Magnus had certainly kept his word and attended to ALL of his needs, the Shadowhunter thought with a grin.   

That night, luckily not during the especially sexy portion of it, Magnus and Alec received a knock on their door.  At that point, the two men were happily cuddled together on the couch, a movie flickering in the background as their lips lazily flickered against each other.  

Alec had made a move to rise from his position above his warlock and investigate who was interrupting them, when two caramel hands suddenly fisted themselves in his faded t-shirt, pulling him back down.  Before he could register what was happening, the world around him whirred and pair of hips suddenly pressed his own into the welcoming surface of the couch. The Shadowhunter opened his eyes to see yellow ones lovingly gazing back at him, his boyfriend in his lap.   “Rest, my love. Don't you move,” the warlock whispered.

And, with a final press of lips, the older man reluctantly rose and made his way to the door.  

He was not impressed when he opened it.

“Thank the Angel, you're clothed,” the blonde nuisance said, waltzing right through the door.

“Yes, 'thank the Angel,'” the warlock muttered, closing the door behind their unannounced guest before heading to reclaim a place by Alec's side.  Said raven-haired boy began to rise into a sitting position to make space when a caramel hand spread across his chest and gently pressed it back down.  For once, the injured man allowed himself to sink back into the couch, simply watching with a soft smile as his boyfriend created a space of his own, lifting the Shadowhunter's legs before bringing them to rest in his seated lap.  Magnus sent the injured man a flash of yellow eyes as his ringed fingers stroked the glimpses of skin now in reach, mindlessly wandering under the loose hem around his ankles. Alec wasn't sure if it was the chill from the metal bands ghosting over his legs or the look the other man was giving him that sent soft shivers through his body, but he pulsed nonetheless.  And he reveled in it.

Meanwhile, Jace had contentedly plopped himself down on the edge of the coffee table and faced his parabatai, ready to chat.  After a moment of silence as the scene before him carried on, he wisely decided to start the conversation before the warlock's hand travelled too much further up his parabatai.

“Hey, man.  I can't believe, after all of the things we've battled, it was almost a Shax demon to take you out of this world.  How's your head?” the Shadowhunter had asked with an affectionate smirk.

Alec smiled back, opening his mouth to reassure his parabatai, but before he could even get a word out, his warlock chimed in.   

“His head is wonderful, thanks for asking.  He's quite talented. I had no idea you had such interest.”

Alec didn't quite know what Magnus meant, but he appreciated the compliment.  

He also didn't know why Jace suddenly looked like he very much regretted visiting the loft that night and seemingly wished he would disintegrate where he sat.  That was new.

And with that odd interaction, the blonde silently rose from his perch and exited the loft without a second glance or a single word.  

The door clicked shut behind him.

“...What just happened?” the injured Shadowhunter finally asked from where he was still sunk into the couch, his face scrunched in confusion, his eyes squinting and widening as he tried to decipher the events that had just unfolded.

Magnus simply shrugged.  “Blondie is too delicate.  He'll recover. Now, where were we?” the warlock purred, leaning in with gleaming cat eyes and touching his lips to the Shadowhunter's once again.  Alec could feel the magic humming through his warlock's body as it pressed against his own. The effect was intoxicating.

And with that, the odd scenario quickly exited the younger man's thoughts for something much more favorable...


	2. Head First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a situation goes wrong, Alec hurts his head. Thank goodness his loving boyfriend is by his side to let everyone know how his head is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Two has arrived! Thank you so much for all of the love you guys showed Chapter One!
> 
> As usual, I hope this chapter gives you the best Malec feels (and the silliest Malec giggles). If you want to give me good feels in return, feel free to leave a kudos or a comment. :) 
> 
> Thank you again for all the love, everyone! Now enjoy the new chapter and revel in the obliviousness. ;D
> 
> __________________

 

The next time it happened, Alec had just received an almighty punch to the face.  

The Shadowhunter had been summoned by Luke Garroway, leader of the city's werewolf pack, to dismantle tensions at the Hunter's Moon.  Apparently one of the newest pack members, a recent inductee into the lycanthrope lifestyle, was not dealing too well with the enhanced emotions brought on by the full moon.  Unfortunately, his main enhanced emotion seemed to be anger. The problem wasn't dire enough to involve the Praetor Lupus, but apparently it was serious enough to involve the Institute, so there he was.

Looking back, Jace had not been the wisest choice to bring with him.

Alec was in the process of calmly talking to the riled up wolf, seemingly making progress, when Jace decided to “helpfully” butt in.  

“Hey, man, this is taking longer than it did to negotiate the pixies in Central Park out of pickpocketing tourists, and I had to go out with one of them for two weeks for that.  Let's all just calm down. Who's a good boy, huh?”

In that moment, the wolf in question was decidedly NOT a good boy.

As the werewolf's eyes sparked with rage and his muscles began to ripple, Alec could see the coming events unfolding in front of him, only two options presenting themselves:

1) watch his parabatai get punched into the next dimension 

2) take his parabatai's place and let himself get punched into the next dimension

Alec allowed himself only a moment before he exhaled an irritated breath, regretting his life choices, and lunged forward

…

Hours later, Alec awoke in the Institute infirmary.

Jace and Magnus were on either side of their brave warrior, Jace lying sideways in the bedside chair  and Magnus glaring at the unhelpful Shadowhunter as he tucked the blankets tighter around the injured man.

Alec tenderly reached out and stroked one of the warlock's hands where it was now adjusting the Shadowhunter's pillow, likely for the 500 th time that hour.  Or that minute. Who was to say.  

Alec noticed that the pillow in question was incredibly soft against his skin.  He could see it clearly now. It was golden silk. Magnus's. He smiled.

Realizing that his Shadowhunter was finally awake, Magnus dropped to his knees and draped himself over the younger man, leaning in as close as he could.  He kissed the palm of the calloused hand his Shadowhunter had reached out before placing it on his cheek to free his own insatiable hands, reaching out to caress the younger man's chiseled cheek with one hand and gently card through his black locks with the other, looking as if he never intended to let the other man part from him again. 

“You have terrible choice in parabatai,” the warlock exhaled, a soft smile on his face now that his other half had returned to him.

“I really do,” replied the Shadowhunter, a smirk overtaking his features as he met the warlock's playful eyes.  

Jace looked as if his pride had been mortally wounded.  

But before he could get a word out to defend his honor, Izzy entered the room.  

“Hey, big brother!” the fierce brunette greeted excitedly, taking in his awakened state.  From the way Jace shrank back into his seat, Alec guessed she had had some choice words with him over the past few hours, but her smile for the older boy was nothing but happy and thankful.  She moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “Glad you're back with us,” she added, taking a seat. “How's your head?”

Jace's body went rigid in his chair.

The Shadowhunter's smiling lips parted to answer but, once again, the warlock chimed in before his other half could even make a sound.

“Sensational actually.  Better and better every time.  Kind of you to ask.”

The room was silent for a moment before Isabelle began laughing so hard tears streamed down her face.  Jace had seemingly relinquished his rigidity and turned to jello, his body slowly dripping from the chair to the floor, a resigned look on his face.

Magus looked to his side and there was Alec.  Smiling at his sister's joy and his parabatai's misery, but nevertheless confused.  Again.  And thinking.  Thinking hard...


	3. Coming to a Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brave Alec hurts his head again. But this time when people ask how it is, he just might have an answer of his own.
> 
> I suppose you could say this is when the story really "comes to a head"...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three is here! 
> 
> As usual, I hope you gives you the warmest Malec feels, the silliest Malec giggles, and, for those of you who watch Shadowhunters, the strength to survive until February 25th. If you want to give me good feels in return, feel free to leave a kudos and a comment!
> 
> And thank so much to those of you who have gifted me with kudos and comments! You are wonderful and I cherish you. <3
> 
> Enjoy Chapter Three, everyone! Thanks for reading! And come back next week for the final chapter! :)
> 
> _________________________

 

And that brought them to this moment here.  

Everyone was gathered in Magnus's loft, relaxing as they recovered from the latest hunt.  The group looked thoroughly worn out, limbs covering every flat surface, dangling down towards the ground where they slipped off the cushions.

They were tired, but content.  

In that comfortable silence, Magnus patted the chiseled and, unfortunately, clothed chest he laid against before forcing himself to his feet and journeying towards the kitchen, intent on retrieving some wine.  The Shadowhunter, realizing that his warmth had abandoned him, reluctantly shifted to his feet as well,

deciding to use his moments of solitude to contain some of the mess that seemed to have unleashed itself around them.  

As he craned his head around to locate all of their used cups, Alec let out a small wince, his movements reawakening the tender wound at his hairline, still in the healing process.  

Earlier that night, the group had been sent to stop a faerie revel that had unleashed itself in Times Square.  If the young Shadowhunters had thought the Fair Folk were difficult to interact with before, they had certainly learned that heavily intoxicated Fair Folk were nearly impossible.  

Alec had been in the process of explaining to an ivy-covered faerie why she, in fact, could NOT bind herself to the mundane man by her side when she suddenly, drunk off her ass, moved to place a necklace over Alec's unamused head.  That would have been fine and dandy, maybe even chuckle-inducing, if the necklace weren't made of shards of bone. Actual, pointy as fuck, bones.

And as that white circle of death passed the crown of the Shadowhunter's head, he could feel the unrefined shards slice into it, sending red rain down his defined cheek.

“Red is a lovely color on you,” the faerie woman had complimented, dancing in place.

Jace had laughed.  Alec had sighed.

He sighed again now at the memory.

And that is when sweet, naïve little Clary asked the question from where she laid against Jace.

“Oh, Alec, I forgot to ask, how's your head?”

Jace's eyes popped open at that, flicking straight towards the retreating warlock, a soft and dreadful “No” escaping his lips.

But it wasn't the warlock who answered the question.

“'Sensational' I believe Magnus last called it.  Although with the amount of times he summoned God, I would have said heavenly,” the brunette answered casually.

Magnus froze, his eyes bulging out and something a little more south beginning to bulge, too, as his boyfriend's response swept over him.  He slowly rotated until he could see his Shadowhunter's face. It seemed that everyone in the now silent room had done the same. And, oh shit, he had lived so many centuries but he was positive that that face was going to be the end of him.

Alec had Magnus's favorite blush on his cheeks, the one that appeared when he was caught in both embarrassment and the throes of passion and Magnus was really hoping for the second one right about now.  Magnus finally peeled his gaze away from those flushed cheeks, as red as the blood that was currently beating double time through his own heart before rapidly fleeing south, and met his Shadowhunter's eyes.  

Although Alec's face was still reddening, those piercing blue eyes indicated anything but embarrassment.   That's when the corner of Alec's lips curved upward and Magnus couldn't help but wonder how a half angel could have such a devilish grin.  That sexy bastard knew exactly what he was doing to the warlock. And, as the Shadowhunter's pupils dilated despite the bright loft lights around them, Magnus realized he couldn't care less.

“Everyone out!” Magnus announced.  And with that, he fully turned towards Alec and ran full force towards the other boy, crashing into him with a leap and wrapping his legs tightly around his Shadowhunter's waist, like koala securing itself to a tree.  It truly said a lot about Alec's Shadowhunter reflexes that he managed to stay standing during the moment of impact instead of being immediately pummeled to the ground, cast flat on his back by the other man. Although, as his friends now hurriedly exited the loft, Jace complaining that no amount of iratzes could heal the injuries his eyes had just sustained, they couldn't help but think that Alec would be in that very position very soon.

As the door slammed shut, Clary having finally coaxed a wailing Jace through the door, Alec's arms and long, trained fingers curled around his warlock like vines, securing himself to the other man.  

Alec released a breathe – whether in shock or in impact was yet to be determined – and the warlock breathed it in as if it gave him life.  And when the Shadowhunter's breathes turned to moans under the ministrations of attentive lips, the warlock breathed those in, too.

Minutes later, Magnus finally unlatched himself from the younger man's mouth to allow them both a few real, much-needed breathes.

“You got it,” he breathed into the small space now between them.  His lips were still close enough to ghost across the Shadowhunter's with each word.  With each touch, his content smile grew.

“I got you,” the younger man replied, all the love in the world in his eyes.  And with that, he touched his lips back to the warlock's, where he intended to keep them forever.  

Well, until the warlock started squirming.  Intensely.

“What are you doing?” the younger man asked, his dazed blue eyes scrunching in confusion as the older man unlatched himself and climbed down the sexy tree of a man that was his boyfriend.

“Well, there's been lots of talk lately about how good your head is,” the warlock began, running a lazy finger down the Shadowhunter's body as he began slowly sinking to the ground, yellow eyes never parting from blue.  “I thought you might want a reminder of how good mine is.” The warlock's knees thudded into place, all of his talented fingers now resting on the Shadowhunter's waist where they began to pull at the constrictive fabric there, eyes flashing impossibly bright.

There was silence for a moment as the two men gazed at each other.  The Shadowhunter's eyes were full of awe that the magical man before him could be his, much less real.  The warlock's eyes were full of love and amused invitation that he was eager for the other man to accept.  

Their chests were rising and falling faster than before, as if the air in the room couldn't sustain them as well as each other's breathes had.  

The Shadowhunter finally sucked in a breath deep enough to allow oxygen to his brain and the only words his mind could form sprang from him in an exhale.  

“...How's your head, Magnus?”

Alec felt the other man's shuddering breath against him like a purr, rippling through his own body anywhere the older man touched him.

“Let me show you, love,” the warlock replied, a warm smile shining on his lips and in his eyes.

And with that, the loving yellow eyes disappeared from his vision for a while and so did the rest of the world...


	4. How's Your Head?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has a very important question to ask...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of "How's Your Head?" has arrived! 
> 
> As always, I hope it gives you the best Malec feels and the silliest Malec giggles! If you want to give me good feels in return, feel free to leave a kudos and a comment! 
> 
> I had so much fun writing this silly little piece, and seeing your kind comments about how it made you laugh meant EVERYTHING. Seriously, it means so much to me that you guys take the time to leave kudos and such kind, thoughtful comments week after week, and each week I try to take the time to appreciate each and every one of you. To everyone who has left a kudos or a comment, I cherish you and your kind words! Thank you!!! <3
> 
> I'm currently in the process of moving from England back to the US so things are chaotic AF around here, but I made a promise to you guys to post every Friday and dammit I'm planning on keeping it. So enjoy Chapter Four of "How's Your Head?" now and tune in next week for whatever I distract myself from packing with.
> 
> Enjoy! :) 
> 
> _____________________

 

The next day, Alec walked back into the Institute, still reveling in how the previous night had ended for him.  His parabatai clearly had a different point of view.

As Alec watched, Jace proceeded to dramatically throw himself onto every surface available, wailing about his damaged eyes as he did so.  

He threw himself onto the table during lunch. 

He crumpled to the ground and laid face down on the mat during training.

He slumped across the ops table while Alec was trying to check the intel from their last patrol, his arms and legs dangling over either side. 

Finally, when Jace burst into Alec's office to dramatically throw himself down across Alec's work-strewn desk, it happened.  

“Ow!” Jace grumbled, still laying across the desk.  He quickly weaved his hand into his blond tresses to touch where he had just struck himself on Alec's witchlight, currently functioning as a paperweight.

By the Angel, Jace's head hurt.  Jace's....uh oh....

Hand still in his hair, the Shadowhunter's eyes sprang comically wide as he slowly turned towards his parabatai.

That sick bastard.

The devilish grin on that fucker's face got Jace moving in no time.

Wound forgotten, Jace sprang up off of the desk, sprinting full speed through the door, calls for Clary and the Angel Raziel already springing from his lips.

“Jace!” his parabatai called, rising from behind the desk and sprinting right after him, devilish grin widening rapidly.  “Where are you going! I have a question for you!”


End file.
